Thursday, 12 February 2009

Lactaphobia: The Language of Hate

Lactaphobia: the fear and loathing of the process of a mother suckling an infant.
When I wrote about lactaphobia last year, I was prompted by the obscenities that had been posted in response to a simple announcement of a breastfeeding picnic being held, to highlight awareness of the need for protection for breastfeeding babies and their mothers.
Many people were shocked by the sentiments expressed, and the gross way woman's bodies were referenced.
Sometimes, we need to be shocked. We need to see bigotry and discrimination clearly. So we know what we are protecting people against.
I didn't think I was shockable anymore.
I was wrong.
The following are all genuine comments, made in open parenting boards or on news article comments. The vast majority of posters, are women, discussing the bodies of their fellow women. Some are mothers, discussing mothers. As you can see, many are referencing the mother asked to leave Denny's, some the Facebook protest. All are open access. Which means that all these people feel comfortable, openly discussing women's bodies in such a manner. The same comments, from the same posters, move through the local area discussions, showing clear stalking of the event, in order to post such hatred repeatedly.
That is the first step of a tit nazi m. o.- find the target. Then make as much a nuisance of yourself as possible. Make a scene, post on mommy forums, head for the media, get your "you go momma's", "TIME FOR A NURSE-IN" (so other bored mommies can get in on the media fun). This git is all over a certain mothering forum (and probably on more than one, for sure) bragging about this little stunt. This titweiler is proclaiming that "this is only the beginning" of her righteous crusade. She posted to the effect that she was waiting with baited breasts (oops) for something like this to happen.She does not want to make it easier for breastfeeding mothers to nurse in public - she is attention whoring for her shot at "American Midol" and is actually making it more difficult for "The Cause". And this beast is using her kids as props to boot. A similar incident happened at a hair salon in Denton, TX last year as well as happening all over the country. It's a sickness, truly.
She just told me that a nurse-in is in the works and Ms. AW is attempting to call in the snarling whores, uh, hordes... What would be a deterrent to this wretched attention-whoring b.s. would be for witnesses of this crap to speak out. Like cockroaches these tit nazis should surely scatter back into the dreadful hollow caverns that they call their lives and actually tend to their children?
This is just amazing. If they would just do what MOST nursing mothers do - cover up a bit - then there wouldn't BE a controversy. Some people are just desperate to be famewhores.
Apparently she wasn't merely providing "essential, optimum nourishment" (a.k.a. "liquid gold") for a kid that is fully capable of solids but insistent on sharing the experience with the restaurant and its patrons.I realize you, uh, ahem, "ladies" are gleefully pushing the envelope from nursing infants in public to toddlers now. Just as long as you want to attention-whore yourselves out there, we will be here to comment upon your antics.
Half of these skanks probably wouldn't have even got pregnet if it were not for facebook.
Not everyone likes to see orangutan shaped **** flopping all over the place when there trying to eat.
She's a famewhore!
She has apparently FLAUNTED her breasts and breastfeeding the TODDLER (NOT infant) in several establishments around town - clearly desiring to cause a uproar.
This slag was not merely "attempting to feed her infant" - she was "on show" with her toddler to shock the after church crowd on a Sunday afternoon. That kid is fully capable of eating solids and while I don't have a beef if a clingy helicopter momma wants to keep her kid a titty baby for the rest of his (her) life, I do take issue with the attention-whoring and bringing undue negative scrutiny on businesses and their patrons.
I'll concede a mother's right to breast feed in public if I also have the right to holler "HEY NICE TITTIES!" when I see her breastfeeding.
I think she should be investigated for child abuse because she is USING HER OWN CHILD in this attention getting stunt.
Thats inappropriate and inconsiderate of others....she needs to keep it in the trailer park
The trailer park comment actually stuns me more than any of the others. That breastfeeding is a class issue in many communities, is often denied when I raise this in discussion. But the connection between - cheap slut, low income, low respect for herself, slack alice behaviour, with breastfeeding outside the domestic sphere, does still seem to well entrenched.
I'll update this as we go... unfortunately.

Do what I do. I stare at these mommies with my tongue hanging out while making grunting noises. This normally makes them grab their things and leave. If they conseal themselves and try to cover up as best they can then thats fine. But, I can't stand these women who raise their shirt and flop out a flat, ugly grandma looking boobie in public. If they do then pervert Lee comes out of me.

This woman's mother has failed her. She probably runs around with a shirt cut down to her navel when she doesn't have a 'baby' of one (with teeth) sucking on her breasts like she's a gift to mankind or something. Grow up and cover up before your child does something stupid like this, please.

no cover for her boob it just hung out there, and her demener was awfull like some trailer trash..

In our society (USA) breasts are sexual parts. We don't live in some jungle society where the women flop around, sex is done in some communal shared grass hut and the men swing freely in the breeze. Our society is one of public modesty or choosen nudity such as titty bars an porn. Not forced onto us in public eateries.

Well I have to say I love seeing a big boob out in public. If something is on it sucking though I would hope it was my mouth on it. If I am a paying customer and I have a problem with anything. I will ask someone to move me if they can or them. Lets just say this lady was with her children somewhere. And the table next to hers was swearing real loud. Hey look at the bithhs tit. hell yes I would love to suck on them. me to man i like to fukk her. So you think she would ask someone to move her or them or just let her kids listen to it. Wake up woman it is kinda rude of you to do that in a public place. and if you continue you will get the same treatment

I wonder what would happen if these females suddenly had to deal with the publics right to voice an opinion. Such as loudly commenting on the size of the juggs on that chest, or the color of the nipples or how delicious,saggy or engorged they look. Actually drawing to them the real attention they are seeking.

If I was Denny's I would wait for her to show up then call the cops on her and her cronies. A few weeks before this happened she was on a popular yahoo group for breastfeeding rights. Posting messages asking for any restraunt in asheville she could go to that would ask her to cover up, all so she can get her name in the paper

Let the men give a demonstration on how breast feedin is really done.LOL

In the article here, she called her child 'kid'.'I'm feeding my kid'. Maybe she said baby to John or maybe he changed it to make her appear to be a classy mom. I don't know.

Go home Crystal and act like a decent person instead of a cheap tramp being paid to do this.

Plain and simple, this woman and others like her are trash and just want attention! Pulling for Denny's and decency and common sense and respect for others. When will all this insanity stop?

I hope these cows swing the whole barn door open and lay their cooters out in the middle of Dennys while they are at it.

I think someone should call DSS and report her. (Child protection)

If their kids are as old as the kid she had on her lap they should be charged with child abuse. Nothing more than a attenion ho who should have had thought about others before her

Seriously, it's not that I wanted to see your boob the majority of breast feeding moms look kind of disheveled and scary anyways

They make pumps so women dont have to go around flopping their breasts out every where they go.

yes always two stories but you should have seen her on thirteen .. no cover for her boob it just hung out there, and her demener was awfull like some trailer trash..

I masturbate at the table while she does this. It's so hot to watch that kid suk that bag!!!!Can't wait for all them girls to do their protest.

So here it is folks, my opinion in black and white: Watching a baby suck on a boob in public is gross. Unless.... the boobs are attached to someone hot, say Jennifer Aniston. And then I'll pay good money to watch. But whether or not it is gross comes down to each individual person. Some gals should not pull their junk out in a public place, with a baby or no baby. And, if you are not sure how ugly you are, just post a picture here on this board. We'll let you know if you should keep your boobs to yourself.

I don't pick boogers in Denny's, so why should you be allowed to expose your udders and call it a "right"?

if she has time to protest she has time to work a job ,but you can not work a job if you are patton and turner ,Pattoning the streets and turning the corners with your breast hung out.

This topic is not about butt-crack, it is about flopped-out hooter.

If boobs are what we all want to see then we'll head over to the strip club.. since she's obviously comfortable with her nudeness perhaps she should put in an application..

Nursing mothers certainly have a "legal right" to hang it out in public. What we seem to be forgetting is that the general population has a right to be spared the vision of a swollen, leaky breast when they are trying to eat a meal they too are paying for.

Except it is gross to watch and totally inappropriate at a Denny's restaurant. Also, you're in the South -- the most conservative, backwoods place on Earth. It will never be an acceptable thing to do here, no matter what the law says.

"Plopping out" is for the bedroom.

I had me this black girl and she squirted the best chocolate Milk i have ever tasted !!

MY OPINION (if that is clarifying enough) is that this woman looks more like a stripper than a mother!

The Jezebel has had her 15 minutes in the spotlight.

I hope DSS has lots of folks “on call” Sunday to take those babies into custody when the cows are arrested for refusal to leave the premises. ... Who will feed those babies while mommy is in jail?

Ya know, everyone of these mothers ought to be charged with child neglect because it was colder than a witches tit out there yesterday! Or should I say a Crystal tit? Morons!!!!

I associate this person with the steroetypical trailer trash.


Ruth Moss said...

It's not a feminist issue though 'cos some women simply can't breastfeed and it's not sisterly to make them feel guilty, remember.

*head explodes*

Some of those comments make me feel absolutely nauseous. We have such a long, long way to go.

Morgan said...

And it doesn't matter about Facebook etc. *sigh*

Actually, the worst of it, was the plethora of "All she needs to do is pump and feed from a bottle comments."


blue milk said...

How incredibly revolting. I think you're right that there is a small band of people who search continually for this topic so they can bomb the relevant site with hate speech. I've had a run-in and I've seen other mothers' websites cop them too - often by the same names. What a twisted, miserable way to spend your life.

Sophie said...

They're bad enough here, shame to see that people are just as bigoted across the pond.. the home of "intelligent design" :(

The class thing really gets me too. The poorer and less well-educated a mum is, the LESS likely she is to even try breastfeeding (as far as I've heard). So clearly those with university degrees shouldn't have bothered, because we're all "attention-whores" at heart.

Morgan said...

Obviously Sophie, women with University degrees have enough self-respect and consideration for others, to only every feed their young in toilet stalls, or under large blankets, or using a 'hooter-hider'. (No, I kid you not, that's an actual brand name.)

They also know to keep quiet, and move silently in the walls of academe, without disturbing anyone with their female-ness.

And they would never protest politically on any subject, especially one as indelicate as breastfeeding.

Or not. ;-)

Morgan said...

blue milk - I actually had to stop copy and pasting from some sites, as I noticed it was the same people, posting in different sites. It began to feel disengenous! As so much vitriol was from a focussed group of cross-posters. That's why I put the facebook comemnt in, as I felt it was slightly dis-honest to only post from one pool. (Which is inasane of me, if you look at the wealth of posts all over the internet.)

Nalini said...

Morgan, that is such a beautiful picture, it makes the hateful comments all the more sickening and ugly in comparison. Strange how breast feeding in the states is associated with the working clesses in the States, so much more middle class/NCT here! It is interesting how many more women in the church breast feed than average, the advantages of positive reinforcement and peer support. I remember going to a friend's christening when Tim was a baby and during a short "silence" all that could be heard was the sound associated when 6 babies glugging happily at the breast :-) Jesus was breast fed, what more can be said...If it was good enough for the son of God ;)

Anonymous said...

Were you at the Denny's? Do you know this woman? If not, I don't think you should comment. You don't know what you are talking about.

Morgan said...

Always anonymous, aren't they?

And no, obviously these people are NOT trawling the internet, trying to find places to troll.


Sophie said...

We don't have to know this woman to deduce how she feels, Anonymous.

By your logic, if you weren't at that Denny's or don't know anyone who was who felt offended, you don't know what you're talking about either.

Morgan said...


One of I've-got-to-find-the-time-to-finish it articles I've got, is about a wondeful treatise written by Rabbi Artson, on the subject of breastfeeding in public. It's just a beautiful, how he describes the act of feeding young, in God's eyes, and according to God's laws, and that if a man does catch sight of a breast or nipple during this act, then it is the responsibilty of the man, to deal with his feelings. And that women much be allowed to participate fully in public life, whilst breastfeeding.

"That you may suck, and be satisfied with the breasts of her consolations; that you may
drink deeply, and be delighted with the abundance of her glory"

You'll find it here:

Nina said...

Hmm ... Morgan, I think your observations on class and breastfeeding are really interesting. Ever thought of writing a dissertation? Dr Morgan has a nice ring, don't you think??

Morgan said...

Nina, I think about it ENDLESSLY! All I need is the money and the University! :-)

But I will do "The Dangers of the 'D' Word' parts 2 and 3, therein lies my opening thesis...

Anonymous said...

If a man were harrassed at a Denny's for a lawful activity, people wouldn't be all over the internet spewing about all the ways that it MUST be "her fault". But always when it concerns something female, everyone wants to talk about how "she asked for it." Then they say we're not still a sexist society. *rolls eyes*

belledame222 said... so much fail.

Anonymous said...

This is really sad! People are way too judgmental on the topic. I breastfed my son until he was two, and I actually had a co-worker tell me I was sick. She then proceeded to ask if I got off on it. Breastfeeding is the best thing a woman can do for the health of her baby. It is our society that is "sick" for oversexualizing the breast.

Beth said...

I just want to let you all know that I love what you are doing. Keep spreading the word that you aren't ashamed of what your body does naturally. There are so many women/men behind you...

Dulwich & South London Netmums said...

I can never understand these crazy comments. I have a feeling a lot of the comments come from women, too, am I right?

Babies have been breastfed since the beginning of humankind, it's as simple as that!

I should add that I'm not a formula-hater, my daughter has been mixed-fed.