Discrimination, But Not That We'll Admit To

Two gay men walk into a cafe. They sit down and try to order a meal. The manager approaches them and says:

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"Look, I have my other customers to think about. I've nothing against you myself, you understand, but others do. And I can't have you in here upsetting everyone. They have a right to eat without being uncomfortable. I'll serve you, but you have to go sit in the toilet, out of sight of my other customers. It's either that, or leave."

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A couple with disabilities enter a cafe. She is in a wheelchair, and he is visually impaired. They seat themselves down and try to order a meal. The manager approaches them and says:

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"Look, I have my other customers to think about. I've nothing against you myself, you understand, but others do. And I can't have you in here upsetting everyone. They have a right to eat without being uncomfortable. I'll serve you, but you have to go sit in the toilet, out of sight of my other customers. It's either that, or leave."

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A couple walk into a cafe. She is wearing a hijab. They sit down and try to order a meal. The manager approaches them and says:

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"Look, I have my other customers to think about. I've nothing against you myself, you understand, but others do. And I can't have you in here upsetting everyone. They have a right to eat without being uncomfortable. I'll serve you, but you have to go sit in the toilet, out of sight of my other customers. It's either that, or leave."

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A mixed race couple walk into a cafe. They sit down and try to order a meal. The manager approaches them and says:

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"Look, I have my other customers to think about. I've nothing against you myself, you understand, but others do. And I can't have you in here upsetting everyone. They have a right to eat without being uncomfortable. I'll serve you, but you have to go sit in the toilet, out of sight of my other customers. It's either that, or leave."

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A couple with a baby walk into a cafe. They sit down and try to order a meal. As they are reading the menu, the baby cries with hunger, and the mother reaches into her bag and brings out a baby bottle of milk. The manager approaches the mother and says:
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"Would you like me to heat that bottle through for you?"

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A couple with a baby walk into a cafe. They sit down and try to order a meal. As they are reading the menu, the baby cries with hunger, and the mother lifts her blouse and latches the baby onto her breast. The manager approaches the baby and says:

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"Look, I have my other customers to think about. I've nothing against you myself, you understand, but others do. And I can't have you in here upsetting everyone. They have a right to eat without being uncomfortable. You can eat, but you have to go sit in the toilet, out of sight of my other customers. It's either that, or leave."

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A couple with a small child walk into a cafe. They sit down and order a meal. The manager brings it over to them. After they have all eaten, the adults order a desert, and the child asks its mother for some milk. The mother reaches into her bag, and pulls out a baby bottle. The manager approaches the mother and says:

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Would you like me to heat that bottle through for you?

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A couple with a small child walk into a cafe. They sit down and order a meal. The manager brings it over to them. After they have all eaten, the adults order a desert, and the child asks its mother for some milk. The mother lifts her blouse and the child latches on.
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The manager phones the police.

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EDIT: and less than two weeks later, it happens.  Yes, the manager phoned the police.

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As Real As It Gets

I've just left my distraught child at Nursery, being comforted in the arms of another woman.
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He was distraught as he has a cold, and is clingy, and we took an unscheduled stop on the journey in, and he 'lost' his toy car out of his pocket. (It wasn't lost, just not in his pocket.)
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In the life of a small child, these are big deals.
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Enough of a big deal, that he required some real, and sustained cuddling from Mummy, before he could bear to move on and play. Extremely unusual, in a child normally far more resilient to stress, and pain, than his peers.
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The reason why he was crying in another woman's arms?
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My little boy was so deeply upset, he wanted to nurse, for comfort and love. Had I been able to nurse him, just for a few moment, he'd have recovered on his own, and gone off to play under his own steam. He would have taken control of his own distress.
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Unable to allow him this heinous act, in a Nursery of other children, I had to refuse, and load on distress, rather than provide him comfort.
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I then had to allow another woman, to sweep him up into her arms, and comfort him. As I was now a source of distress, it was better for me to leave, and allow another to take my place.
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Because my body, and what I do with it as a mother, is socially controlled. As a woman, my mothering, and my body, is controlled by the gaze of others. I didn't even feel I could ask to withdraw to a private space, as I didn't want the entire "she's a freak" thing to enter into my, and my son's, relationship at his wonderful Nursery. I was too afraid. Too scared.
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The next time someone tells me that 'discretion' in breastfeeding isn't a feminist issue, or that they have the right to determine how, where, and when, I offer my breast to my child, I'm likely to punch them in the face.
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Breastfeeding is not Lewd

David Cameron Responds...

Dear Mrs Gallagher,
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I am writing on behalf of David Cameron to thank you for your recent e-mail, following the launch of our campaign on Labour's debt crisis.
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We are glad you have had an opportunity to watch our campaign video, which features a baby to highlight how every child born in Britain this year will be burdened with Gordon Brown's debt.
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We certainly take on board the points you make about breastfeeding, which is clearly good for babies, especially in the early weeks. But David believes that we must not place undue pressure on mothers who do not feel breastfeeding is right for them. Likewise, there certainly should be no obstacle for those who want to breastfeed. This is why we believe that more public places should provide facilities for breastfeeding. Most crucially, we believe it is important that mothers, with the support of their partners, can make an informed choice.
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Our campaign neither promotes nor endorses one way for feeding babies over another. Rather, our poster and accompanying video are about stopping this Government before they bankrupt our economy and bankrupt our children's future. We strongly believe children, like the baby featured in our campaign, deserve better. I do hope you agree.
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Thank you, again, for taking the time and trouble to get in touch and for following our campaign.
Yours sincerely,
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Lara Moreno Perez
Office of the Leader of the Opposition
House of Commons
London
SW1A 0AA
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Dear Mr Cameron,
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Thanks you so much for your email to me via Lara Moreno Perez. Ms Perez sent me a nice email about breastfeeding, and your personal opinions about it. Which was interesting.
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I was, however, wondering when I might receive a reply to my email? I wrote to you about two matters, one, the Conservative Party upholding bottlefeeding in a promotional video, and two, the Conservative Party not being open to contact by members of the general public? Might there be a reply to these two issues at some point? I still have not had any response from the lady I left an answer message for, for instance.
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Whilst, as I said, I do appreciate the discussion on breastfeeding, I did actually write to you about the global problem on promoting bottlefeeding. I didn't write to you about breastfeeding. In fact, I copy my original letter here: I use the word breastfeeding once, in relations to the higher NHS costs with those babies who are not breastfed. My letter was about images of bottlefeeding, not breastfeeding at all. I feel I need to make that very clear again, given the strange response your office sent.
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Inappropriate bottle feeding - regardless of what's in the bottle - kills 4000 babies every day. That's why there is an international standard on the marketing of bottles and teats. This is the issue I raised, and the issue I would like an answer on please. I am not writing about breastfeeding, and I don't need any response about breastfeeding. I would like an answer on the use of bottles in this video, and why the Conservative Party feels it's okay to ignore the global impact of bottle use in your video? If it helps narrow it down for you, this issue I'm raising is how the Conservative Party can ignore the following resolution, of which the UK is a signatory:
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Article 2. Scope of the Code
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The Code applies to the marketing, and practices related thereto, of the following products: ...
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...feeding bottles and teats...
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Article 5. The general public and mothers
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5.1 There should be no advertising or other form of promotion to the general public of products within the scope of this Code.
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Therefore, my question to you is very clear: given the statement in Article 5.1 in The International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes, that there should be no promotional material directed to the general public containing images of bottles and teats... how can the Conservative Party justify making a promotional video containing these images? Further, and this is a direct question to you, does the Conservative Party support The International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes?
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I would like a response about the fact that no one has returned my call, and reception has stated that members of the general public are not allowed to speak to anyone direct, in any other offices, when they phone through.
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I look forward to your reply.
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Morgan Gallagher
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(And I'm not a 'Mrs' and do not feel it's the role of the Conservative Party to assume I am, and address me thus.)
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Dear Mr Cameron,
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It's simply unacceptable that the Conservative Party has produced a promotional video using a young baby being bottle fed.
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It's also completely unacceptable that as a Party, you are not responding to complaints about it. Hence my emailing you!
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I phoned Conservative HQ this afternoon, after being alerted to this offensive video. I was sent to an ansa phone, as the single person who takes calls, was 'out to lunch'. When asked to be put onto an actual person, or the Press Office, my request was refused. I was told 'the lady who answers questions' would phone me back. Needles to say she hasn't. Needless to say, no one at Conservative HQ is listening - you won't even take phone calls!
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Are you, as a party, not aware of international politics? Are you not aware that in 1981, the World Health Assembly introduced a code of conduct on the marketing of breastmilk substitutes - specifically detailing baby bottles and teats - and that under this Code, marketing and promotion of baby bottles and teats is banned? And this is the image you've chosen in your video?
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The UK is a signatory of Code, Mr Cameron, and Code is there to protect babies from dying. 4000 babies die EVERY DAY from unsafe bottle practises, that is why there is a Code in the first place. And your party video upholds bottle feeding!
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It doesn't matter one jot what's in that bottle Mr Cameron - bottle feeding kills babies. It's the bottle that causes the disease and death, in hygiene poor areas. Further, bottle feeding costs the NHS a fortune every year. The increased risk in health from not breastfeeding, results in a huge increase in NHS treatments for such babies. And there you are, promoting bottle feeding whilst complaining about money being spent by the Government. You're even showing the baby being fed in a dangerous manner! Flat on the back like that, is high risk, and the NHS leaflets explain this out to mothers, and show them how to bottle feed more safely.
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This is a tremendous 'own goal' by your party. Please do the right thing, and remove this bottle feeding image. If you think the storm of protest today is bad, just wait until the message spreads a bit more. Mothers care passionately about the health of babies Mr Cameron, and it is utterly unsupportable that the Conservative Party should be so cavalier about babies' health.
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Your message about 17 thousand pounds, is secondary to the message that the Conservative Party promotes bottle feeding.
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Please change that.
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Morgan Gallagher
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Extremely Irate Mother

Child Led Weaning Survey

If you would like to help out with some research at the University of Nottingham on Baby Led Weaning, please email Dr Ellen Townsend

(ellen.townsend@nottingham.ac.uk).

We are looking for parents of children (currently aged 20-72 months) who have been weaned using BLW, to complete a questionnaire on their experience of BLW and their child's food preferences".

Mommy In The Morning

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Original artwork by Shona Begg. Who assures me that her four year old helped a lot, not just by posing, but by finger painting in the sky. And giving it its title. :-)
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Because sometimes, we just need to remember the joy!

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The Party is not for Listening - Tories & Bottlefeeding

On Monday, the Conservative Party launched a campaign video. It's on their own party website, and their official YouTube one.

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It features a four week old baby, reclined back, being force fed from a massive baby bottle.

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From the political party hoping to be in charge of the Health Service. From the political party hoping to take over the UK's global obligations on the world stage.

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From the political party hoping for your vote.

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Two truly interesting things about this. Mothers picked up on these images, and acted, within hours of the the campaign launch.

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The Conservative Party, four days later, has still to even respond to their efforts. It's pretty clear to me - No One Is Listening.

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Personally, in an attempt to get an understanding of how this happened, what their intent was, and where this video was going to be shown, I contacted the Conservative Party direct. On phoning them, and explaining my business, I was put through to an answer-phone to leave a message. This was lunchtime, Monday. I phoned switchboard back, explained I had serious concerns, and wanted to speak to someone. Not possible. "The lady who answers information enquiries.." would pick up the message. "She was at lunch." Could I speak to the press office? "No." Can I speak to anyone at all? "No."

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I left a message. I explained clearly it was a really important matter, and I required information.

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No one has replied.

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The next day, I emailed David Cameron. Explained there was no response, no way of getting through, could someone help?

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No one has replied.

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Some mothers, who have contacted their own Conservative MPs, were told their complaints were passed on. I'm not aware of any actual responses to the complaints.

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The bottle feeding images are still in the video. Despite it being perfectly clear that many people have informed the Conservative Party that this is a massive own goal in their publicity machine. That baby bottle deaths are a serious international issue. That their own credibility is on the line, in terms of them both understanding the global issues, the domestic health issues, and their own ability to listen to the electorate. The images are still there - they have still yet to respond.

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On the YouTube site, you can find people complaining - including me. No official response at all. In fact, one other commentator, has suggested the outraged complaints about the bottle feeding image, is a Labour 'plot' to discredit the Tories.

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As if.

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The Tories are doing all the damage themselves, I assure you.

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What to do about it? Well, direct complaints to the Conservative Party can be sent here.

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Otherwise... it depends where this video appears. Political parties can not put campaign videos on television, so you shouldn't see it there. Sometimes, however, such videos are shown in the cinema, and in print. If you see these images, in the cinema, or in a magazine, then you can complain to the Advertising Standards Authority. You need to be very specific about where, and when, you saw it.

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OFCOM wouldn't normally be involved in such complaints. However, after I chatted with them on Monday, they said that as it is a political party, they'd like to be informed if people do complain, so complain to them as well. However, this is only if the video appears outside cyber space. Like the ASA, a complaint can only be made if the images appear in mainstream media: in the cinema, on a broadcast channel, in print. So, again, you need to state where and when you saw it. No one can act for YouTube and the Conservative Party internal website.

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If they act at all, that is.

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For, of course, we're slam bang in the middle of more gray areas in the UK's protection legislation on Code, and how well we do, or don't, enforce it. The Tories aren't selling you bottles or teats. They're just using the images, blindly, and with no understanding or respect for the issues. They are acting irresponsibly, unethically... they're being quite thick, really. Stupid. Insensitive. Ignorant. But are they breaching broadcast guidelines...? Only way to really find out, is to complain, and see what happens.

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Might as well, should it turn up in paid slots somewhere. It's not as if they are listening to complaints direct to them!

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You can also report the video to the Baby Law Feeding Group, and see if adding your voice to others, helps somehow, somewhere. Sending them money for their work, would also help in the long run. Or sending money to Baby Milk Action, for the same.

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People do bottle feed. Images of such, in appropriate forums, such as dramas, documentaries, educational material.. they are acceptable. Especially when done responsibly, and with an eye to Code, whether it technically covers the material, or not.

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Nothing about the bottle feeding in this promotion for a political party hoping to gain Government, is remotely responsible, or appropriate. And the party's refusal to engage with the complaints, or the issues, speaks volumes: gives out a very clear message.

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And it's not a good message, in terms of gaining people's trust, and garnering their vote. Or saving babies' lives.

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Well Done, Eastenders

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Let me start by saying I know a lot of you are going to disagree.. but I think Eastenders has done very well tonight, and in general, on the Roxy and breastfeeding storyline.

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For those who don't watch soaps, or follow soap babies... Roxy is the 'blonde bombshell ditzy good time girl' with a good right hook in the current Eastenders.

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As the good time girl who likes peroxide, vodka jellies, and dangerous men... she fell pregnant and.. guess what! ... there could be two fathers! Oooh!
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Also, in classic soap portrayal, she has a Traumatic Incident late in pregnancy, and has a little preemie girl, Amy.

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Amy is locked in a plastic box at the hospital, with various wires poking out of her. Roxy, not one of Nature's Mothers, find herself sighing over the plastic box, and becoming quite concerned for the little itty bitty thing in it. A passing nurse, asks her if she planned on breastfeeding.. "Yuck No!" says Roxy's face... Roxy intended to formula feed, thank you very much.

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Nurse explains that it's good for the baby, and she can hand express... they are interrupted by a dramatic Is This The Real Father come to view plastic box moment.

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Time passes, Roxy is heard to complain, in passing, that her nipples are in shreds and bleeding, and having Amy in the plastic box at the hospital is very hard work. (But it does allow her to have lots of moody moments on the square, pondering the Fatherhood, or otherwise, of Sean, the duped Dad. Jack, the real Dad, hovers moodily.)

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Tonight, several months after Amy has been born, and freed from the plastic box and allowed home (to be kidnapped and threatened with death by fake Dad), Roxy takes her out and has a chat with a younger female character. (Unaware younger female character is her own niece.)

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And they chat about motherhood. And Roxy says she not a very good mother, being a ditzy blonde good time girl. And the example she uses, about her lack of mothering skills, is breastfeeding.

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Roxy hated breastfeeding. It hurt. A lot. You're supposed to like it, but she didn't. This proves she's not a good mother. When she told the midwife her nipples hurt, the midwife ignored her. When she told the middle-class Mums down the clinic it hurt, they looked at her like she was mad. When she brought the bottle out... they warded off the evil! (Roxy uses crossed fingers and dramatic emphasis.)

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They laugh and move on.

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Now, as I said, I think a lot of you are going to drum me out of the Secret Lactavist's Cabal*, for this... (or perhaps, as a soon to be ex GoddessMother of The Breastfeeding Mafia (TM), I'll soon be sleeping with the fishes...) but I think Eastenders have done a good job here. I think Roxy's experiences have been portrayed in a very low key, and very authentic way. And I think in context, it's good.

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Consider:

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The last baby born on the Square was breastfed successfully. Albeit it was under a net curtain.

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That mother's right to breastfeed her baby in the cafe (albeit under the aforementioned net curtain) was upheld in the story line.

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Roxy it the absolutely typical stereotype of a new mother who was never going to breastfeed: working class, young, fashion conscious wild child. One who had already self-selected to formula feed during pregnancy, as breastfeeding was alien to her.

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She expressed for her preemie. She tried to breastfeed. She persevered with expressing when her baby was in a plastic box, and she was in turmoil. She persevered with pain and cracked and bleeding nipples.

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She asked for help. She wasn't given any. She gave up.

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I don't see anything wrong with this sequence, in terms of a drama. In fact, I see a great deal right with it. I see the authentic experience of a lot of women, and I see it portrayed sensitively, and with some flair.

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Therefore, I see it as a positive step in an excellent step forward for this particular drama. I'm especially excited, by Roxy's awareness, and discussion, of the class issue in breastfeeding rates. It raises debates, and allows them to be aired. And it leaves open room for the next working class mother in the Square, to win through somehow. (Last Mum to breastfeed under the net curtain, was middle class, even if married to a working class bloke - she was very middle class. So I feel real work is being done here.)

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And I so hope that's what Eastenders does, as it carries on with its very subtle building up of real baby feeding issues, in it's very-not-suited-for-that-type-of-storyline-drama. (Babies and Mums have to separated a lot in soaps, so having one breastfed, is a real challenge! How could they be kidnapped and threatened with drowning/burning alive/being secretly brought up in Melbourne and called Sandra, if they were still breastfed!) Hopefully, as we progress, working class Mums on the Square, will breastfeed successfully, sans net curtain.

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And the authentic story here -that of trying, even when you didn't think you could or should, but having an experience of pain, and being not listened to, is taken on board. This happens to women every day - and that needs recognised, and dealt with.

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I look forward to another mother, in the Square, saying it hurts, and a friend dragging her to get help, and screaming and kicking and complaining 'down the clinic' that no one is listening to her friend when she says she's in pain.

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If you agree with me, that Roxy's experience of breastfeeding has been A Good Thing, portrayed as it has... tell the BBC. It's really important to praise when things go right. As well as suggest improvements on what could have happened to make it work.. of course!

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*Yeah, like me being a lactavist is a secret....

John Lewis Replies

I received this email today, and my reply is after.
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Looks, to me, like they Don't Get It.
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Dear Morgan,
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Thank you for giving me some time to work on the questions raised during last Friday's telephone conversation.
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As a company, we endeavour to deliver honest, impartial advice and service that is fair and balanced to all customers, whichever feeding choice they make for their baby. Customer feedback is important as it enables us to consider changes when evaluating ranges, services and facilities, to offer a comfortable and convenient shopping experience for everyone.
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The parent rooms in all of our new stores (Liverpool, Leicester & Cambridge) are depicted by a symbol of a baby. The facilities within these rooms now include a child friendly & adult toilet, wheelchair access, double buggy access, toddler safety seat and drinking water dispenser, all in addition to the original room features. Some of our older stores do still display the old parent room signage, however we are planning to update signange and facilities depending on the stores refurbishment programme.
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The concerns you raised about our online visuals has been taken on board by the relevant teams and changes will take place shortly to improve the quality of our message to customers through this portal.
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If you have any further questions or concerns regarding our initial conversation last week, please feel free to contact me.
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Kind regards,
Emi O'Neill
Press & PR Officer
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Thanks for your reply. I do feel this falls very short of engaging with the issues on breaking code, and promoting bottle feeding. Especially in light of other customers replying that they've complained before, and been told there is nothing wrong with the bottle symbol etc, and one mother actually been told to stop breastfeeding her baby in your store.
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I'll pass your reply on in my blog, with a copy of my own reply.
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Perhaps John Lewis needs to have a thorough look at its staff training, both in relation to the treatment of breastfeeding within your store (you can be sued under the Sex Discrimination Act for asking a mother to stop breastfeeding) and your ethical obligations under Code. In particular, you might want to look at how you record and note such complaints, as no one had any idea about breaching Code when I first contacted the company, and yet, clearly, many people have written in and complained before.
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I'm sad that John Lewis is not taking this opportunity to move forward by removing the bottle feeding signs immediately. Such a small thing to do, to restore your customers' trust.
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I will, of course, forward on my complaints about John Lewis breaching Code to Trading Standards and the Baby Law Feeding Group, and encourage other customers to do likewise.
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kind regards
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Morgan Gallagher

John Lewis, Avent and Code

I've been contacted this week, about a series of 'infant feeding' events being held in various John Lewis stores across the country next week.

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They're being held by Philips AVENT, a known code-breaking company. Avent holding promotions and events to sell their products, in a way that breaks code often, is not a surprise to anyone. What was a surprise, was that it would be done within John Lewis stores.

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John Lewis is usually seen as a very ethically minded company. It is owned by its workers - its partners - and has a written constitution, that requires it to...

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to obey the spirit as well as the letter of the law and to contribute to the well-being of the communities where it operates.. and that they ..must not take advantage of a customer's ignorance, and must do everything reasonably possible to put matters right if it inadvertently does so..

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So you'd think they'd be a bit wary about working with a company so notorious for breaking code on its branding and promotions of bottles and teats.

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The initial promotional info on the John Lewis website, quoted a 'special' demonstration at its Oxford Street store, by a qualified midwife, Saturday 17th January, as an 'educational event'. Now, I'm not an expert on Code, I just go by what I can fathom for myself as I go... but..

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8.2 Personnel employed in marketing products within the scope of this Code should not, as part of their job responsibilities, perform educational functions in relation to pregnant women or mothers of infants and young children... seems pretty to clear to me!

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Other huge areas of concern emerged, as I trawled through the various advert pages, on John Lewis's website, and in discussion with other mothers, I was told John Lewis use a symbol of a baby bottle, on their infant feeding rooms. ? I was also told by other mothers that some stores have direct connections with breastfeeding support agencies, and they felt the company was usually very breastfeeding supportive.

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On investigation, I also discovered that Avent, and bottles, and bottle promotion events, are in a somewhat gray area in the UK. Whilst the promotion of formula itself, under code restrictions, is very clear in the UK, the UK has yet to sign up to the World Health Authority marketing standard for bottles. So whether or not Avent are going to be breaking UK regs on code, depends on what they do next week, in their presentations - more on that in a moment.

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However, what is not in a gray area, is John Lewis's commitment to ethical and responsible trading. So should they be hosting such events, in this manner? The John Lewis promos state that.. John Lewis Baby feeding advisors will be on hand throughout the week, with plenty of invaluable product information to help guide parents through the products they really need and how to get the best from them through product demonstrations. So I was left wondering where the line was... what was John Lewis, what was Avent?

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So I phoned John Lewis. They confirmed that Avent is doing the promotional presentations, and the store was only hosting the events. But that their own Nursery advisers will be on hand to help customers.

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They were very helpful, actually, especially when blind-sided with the sheer complexity of the infant feeding issues. Within minutes of speaking to them, I'd opened up massive potholes in their path, about the ethics of what was going, and specific code violations - such as the 'educational event'.

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There was also issues about stating that an Avent employed 'qualified midwife' would give advice on products etc ... was that ethical? In terms of Code, clearly not ... but what about in terms of the UK midwife professional standards? That one got gray area very quickly too - some cites from the code from the Nursing & Midwifery Code state midwives cannot use their professional qualifications to market products. Even with the cite, (7.2 of the NMC code) I couldn't find those words, only some similar but not exactly that phrase. So another gray area, in which unethical practices are allowed to flourish... another blog post there I feel...

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But to get back to John Lewis.

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I feel they've reacted really well. They actually took "educational event" out of their web promo, there and then, and reworded some of the blurb. I think this is a sign that they are taking the concerns of the ethics of these 'infant feeding sessions' on board. I explained that some mothers will be attending these events, specifically to look for code violations, and unethical marketing by Avent. John Lewis supports any mother who wishes to complain to anyone, and ask that if anyone is unhappy, to also contact them, and let them know of their concerns:

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"... if parents or customers have any questions regarding the in-store event, they should contact the Customer Services team in the relevant branch. We are more than happy to receive queries from customers about any aspect of our business and as a responsible retailer we endeavour to obey the spirit as well as the letter of the law."

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And, as I said, they have also already changed wording on their website (It's not all in place, so I don't know yet everything that might have been changed - but 'educational event' is gone.)

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Beyond this, a huge discussion opened up on their own corporate attitude to breastfeeding. This got very very interesting, and I'm reporting it from my viewpoint - okay? I had an informal discussion with one person at John Lewis, and we talked over a lot of stuff. At no point, am I suggesting that anything I'm about to say here, is representative of John Lewis's opinion, or stating anything in any direction about what they think... but it was a very pertinent discussion.

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Initially, the person I was speaking to, from my press office contact, was keen to state that John Lewis sought to give impartial advice on all aspects of infant feeding - and they supported breastfeeding but needed to be seen as fair and impartial. Mothers are free to choose. This is true. But my point, was that they had an ethical responsibility not to promote breastfeeding as 'equal' to formula feeding, but to protect breastfeeding, as the normal feeding method. Therefore breastfeeding, should be their default, their first line in text and image. So the infant feeding sign in their stores, should not be a baby bottle - it should be the International Breastfeeding Symbol.

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Much of my discussion centred upon this John Lewis web page. Nothing to do with Avent, entirely JL's own. Go look.

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Pretty shocking, ain't it? So very 'balanced and impartial'. I tried to explain to the nice person on the phone, why this page is so NOT balanced, so not 'impartial'. That the token acknowledgement at the beginning about 'the controversy' and then flowing full into picture of a mother formula feeding by bottle, and an assurance that John Lewis would sell you all the products you needed to satisfy a hungry baby was not 'impartial'. Where was the image of the breastfeeding baby? Where was the statements about not needing anything to breastfeed, but you and a baby? Where was the links to finding out more info on breastfeeding, if you needed it?

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Again, this was all taken on board, and discussed really well. I explained I understood very well, that there was no profit in John Lewis telling people they didn't need any products to breastfeed successfully - they just needed a baby and a Mum. They said that wasn't an issue for them, as they never sell a product no one needs, and never attempt to.

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And that struck us to the core with the problem with inviting Avent into their store like this.

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They may not sell a product no one needs... would Avent, a code breaker, do the same?

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Would John Lewis spot them doing it?

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Would the seemingly benign statement.. Hi, we're here to show you everything you need to breastfeed successfully, we have pumps and breast pads and storage bottles and .... slip past the JL staff? Would the JL staff spot the huge issue here, that of sending messages to mothers that they needed all sorts of 'stuff' to breastfeed successfully? We discussed the huge ethical issue of companies such as Avent, saturating the market with the concept that every mother 'needs' a hand pump, and that 'breastfeeding starter packs' with pumps and bottles and teats are promoted as 'baby shower' gifts. We also discussed that pumps are a real sore thumb - not in code as the code's too old, but really, ethically, pump promotion is a huge problem.

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That there is an entire world of subtlety, in the specific undermining of breastfeeding, as the norm. That companies, such as Avent, in my personal opinion, feed into this undermining, by how they promote pumps, bottles and teats as 'breastfeeding friendly'. How they position their product to the mother.

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And that John Lewis, surely, should be protecting breastfeeding from such subtle attack? They should start every line on such pages as the Nursery page, with a comment about breastfeeding, and where to go for help and advice. And only then, having established that breastfeeding is normal and everyday, go on to give support and advice on other feeding methods?

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That breastfeeding, is 'the default'. Anything less, is not protecting it. And, in fact, as we know, not doing this, means you are actually undermining breastfeeding, even if it's never occurred to you that's what you are doing?

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So, for instance, now I look at the 'Nursery page'.. look at this wording:

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There’s been a lot of talk, and quite a bit of controversy, about which is best for baby - breast or bottle. As far as we nursery advisors are concerned, the choice is yours.

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This statement, I'd argue, undermines breastfeeding. It does not state that the NHS and WHO, and UNICEF, recommend breastfeeding. It creates an illusion, that breastfeeding and formula feeding have equal status. It designates the 'controversy' as some argument about mother's choice. There is no 'controversy' in those terms. It's a terrible abrogation of responsibility, on giving impartial advice - for it pretends impartial is somehow about not stating facts and known health advice.

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You don't even have to move into the territory of discussing 'the controversy' to make this statement breastfeeding protective, as opposed to breastfeeding belittling....

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The NHS, WHO and Unicef recommend breastfeeding for the health of you and your baby. Mothers are free to choose to breastfeed, or to formula feed. If you want helpful links on advice on breastfeeding, click here. If you wish to look at some of our breastfeeding support products, such as breast pads etc, click here. If you need help and advice on formula feeding, click here. If you want to look at some of our formula feeding support products, click here. We have highly trained staff in all our stores, able to help you in your infant feeding needs, and we never try to sell you a product you don't need.

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It's not that hard. Put it side by side with a photo of a breastfeeding baby and mother, and you can still have your formula fed baby there too. (Although, I don't know it that's against Code, actually! :-)

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So, two points to make:

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1) John Lewis are aware that some customers have concerns over this event, and their breastfeeding portrayal overall. They have said they take this on board, and they will put work into looking at the issues, and seek to find a way forward that means they operate ethically, and remain fair and impartial to all their customers. Do your bit - let them know what your concerns are, and talk to them directly.

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2) Avent are having stands in John Lewis stores over the next week, starting Monday. And ten stores will have promotional events on Saturday 17th with an Avent 'special advisor'. Do your bit. If you are attending, take notes, listen and pay attention - specifically when pumps and pumping are mentioned. Look for the moments where Avent 'support breastfeeding', and make such excellent statements as "No mother needs any product to breastfeed successfully." and "Some mothers find expressing milk is useful to them. Hand expression is free and quick and easy." and then watch them press 'play' on the hand expression video they've thoughtfully brought with them.

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As opposed to any suggestion that mothers need products, need pumps, tips on how to pump, with no mention of hand expression. Any comments such as "Pumping can free you to go out and do things, and allow your partner to bond with the baby by feeding the baby your milk." In other words, any comments that pumps and their bottle products 'free you up' from the demands of breastfeeding. I know, they would never do that, would they? Position breastfeeding as The Thing You Must Escape From, to have a happy life? They'd never present breastfeeding as restrictive, selfish (depriving the poor Daddy of his feeding time) and something that will impinge upon the mother's lifestyle - and hey presto, they can help by 'freeing' her from the need to hold her baby to feed it! Dang it, I'm so suspicious!!!

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Pay particular attention to any mentions of formula, or follow-on milk. Write notes, take photos if the store lets you. Watch how Avent use the bottles and talk about them in their displays. Especially words that compare their bottles, teats etc, to 'breastfeeding'. Remember, formula fed babies require as much protection as we can give them: mothers don't need to be told a product 'is as good as' or 'close to breastfeeding'. They just need to know if it will feed their baby safely and that they can clean it to a high standard.

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If they do say something you object to, or that breaks code - report it to the Baby Feeding Law Group. And for code violations - Trading Standards.

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And copy John Lewis head office into things. They can't respond to us, if we don't talk to them. I'll leave the final words with Miriam Labbock...

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For optimal feeding to be considered normative behavior we must shift from discussing breastfeeding as a benefit and change to the recognition that lack of breastfeeding is a risk behavior. Babies who are not breastfed are more likely to develop allergies, have lower IQs, die of SIDS, be obese as children and as adults, and have risk factors for cardiac disease in later life. They will have an increased risk of certain cancers, as will their mothers who did not breastfeed. Perhaps, most importantly, these non-breastfed babies will have deficient immune systems, rendering them more susceptible to a wide variety of diseases and less able to fight the infectious diseases that they do experience.

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Miriam H. Labbock,

MD, MPH,

IBCLC

Senior Advisor,

Infant & Young Child Feeding and Care UNICEF (2001-2005)

Professor of the Practice of Public Health in the Department of Maternal and Child Health, University of North Carolina/Chapel Hill

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EDIT:

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ps I'm really glad you're sending me your stories about complaints you've made to John Lewis about breastfeeding symbols etc, in store, and how things haven't changed so far. But really, John Lewis need to see your comments, not just me! Please consider adding your comment below. You don't need to sign up with blogger, send it in under 'anonymous' and just write your name in the last line. You don't need to have an account with either Google, or Blogger to comment. :-)

A distraught mother speaks... Hey Facebook, you listening..?

Hello,
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My name is Emma Kwasnica. I am a 30-year-old Canadian tandem-nursing mother living in Montréal, whose Facebook account has now been entirely disabled over the breastfeeding photos controversy. The official petition group on Facebook is called Hey Facebook, breastfeeding is NOT obscene! . I am reaching out because I think you might be interested in the Facebook fiasco over breastfeeding images, and them being classed as "obscene, sexually explicit and pornographic". Yes, I said breastfeeding. The most loving, selfless act on Earth.
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For the record, my entire Facebook account has now been deleted, with no explanation from the administrators of Facebook. While they have not confirmed the reason for disabling my account, I can only suspect it stems from the fact that, in the days leading up to the disabling of my account, I had photos of me breastfeeding my daughters deleted, and was given a "warning" for having had uploaded "obscene" content that renders Facebook "unsafe for children". They are reproduced here.
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Given the amount of obscene, pornographic, and truly disturbing photos, applications and groups that proliferate across Facebook, I am stunned that this has happened to me. I am an aspiring midwife/Childbirth Educator/ Breastfeeding Counselor; I run a lively discussion group on Facebook called Informed Choice : Birth and Beyond, and have been sharing all of my summarised research, studies, links regarding pregnancy, birth and motherhood with a group of nearly three hundred people, since July 2008. And now, everything that I ever wrote, all my photos, all of my midwifery-related research, has been deleted --right off the face of Facebook. Furthermore, this does not concern me alone, as many (over a hundred ?) other Facebook users had their posts deleted, too, since whole discussion threads were deleted into oblivion, if it was indeed me who began the thread (which, 80% of the time, I had started the threads, since this was my group/me sharing the most recent research relevant to the childbearing/-rearing woman).
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Facebook has not responded to my e-mails politely enquiring why my account has been disabled. They remain faceless. Hence the reason why I am now reaching out and going public with my situation. I am desperate to get my words back, and most importantly, the general North American public needs to be made aware of Facebook's disgusting double-standards regarding "decency". I am revolted to report that Facebook allows the likes of a group called "Dead Babies Make Me Laugh", and yet, someone such as myself, who wants nothing but to inspire and help women on their journey to birthing healthy, vibrant babies, has her whole account deleted.I have now done radio station interviews (a Sakatoon one, as well as Montréal's 98.5 FM), and was interviewed for 'La Presse' newspaper here in Montréal, the article for which appeared in yesterday's edition of 'La Presse' (the English translation for which you will find below). I may be doing another one-hour long segment on the same Saskatoon radio station at some point this week.
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There is a Canadian slant to this whole Facebook fiasco, in that the tireless organiser of the original online protest is from Ottawa (Stephanie Muir), the site that is currently the "safe haven" for breastfeeding photos which have been deleted by Facebook is a Canadian one (TERA), is coordinated by Paul Rapoport of Hamilton, Ontario, and now, the only (known) person so far to have had their Facebook account fully disabled over this issue --me, a Montreal mother.
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Please help me by spreading the word of Facebook's appalling actions (such as by posting this to your blog), and consider this an official plea to get the word out ! For the sake of the next generation of babies, people everywhere need to understand that the larger issue of normalising breastfeeding is deeply important here. In 2009, it is unacceptable that women feel shamed, or are sexualised, while providing the most normal, the most physiologically appropriate food for their babies : breastmilk.
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Sincerely yours,
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Emma Kwasnica,
Montréal

<emma.kwasnica@gmail.com>.

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PS
You will also find above the scanned, full-page image from Le Journal de Montréal, in which I am breastfeeding my daughters. This is particularly relevant as Facebook has said that no major newspaper in North America would publish the type of breastfeeding photos that they have deleted. This simply isn't true - this newspaper image (from October 2008) is living proof ! If Montreal, a city of over 3.5 million, can handle seeing this image in a daily newspaper, they why can't Facebook ?

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(Morgan here - I've had three photos deleted from Facebook, and no one has deleted my account! My three photos exposed more aureole than Emma's do!)

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EDIT Jan, 19th - Emma's account was restored.