Dr Brian Palmer - Tongue Tie and Human Growth

This is a letter that has been recently received by Dr Brian Palmer, a leading dental surgeon and expert on breastfeeding and it's vital role in oral-facial development.

He has an excellent website which gives details of research, presentations and how breastfeeding is an overall component in adult health. Adults who were not breastfed as a child, can die from the lack of it, through sleep apnea. Many also suffer severe sleep problems. Sadly, there is evidence that this lack of breastfeeding can also contribute to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

The issue on tongue tie and babies is, in my opinion, a human rights issue. Many modern doctors think clipping a tongue tie in "unnecessary surgery" even though it can prevent breastfeeding, and also cause the problems detailed in this letter.

As ever, the child's right to breastfeed is ignored by the medical establishment as "just the mother's feeding choice". If you are a mother whose child's right to your breast is being compromised by a tongue tie, please go to Dr Palmer's website for the scientifically researched medical data you need.

On a lighter note, who also does a wicked defense of the notion that breastfeeding causes tooth decay!

As Dr Palmer says "Knowledge is most meaningful when shared with others. This is the reason I am sharing this research with you."

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Following is a letter Dr. Palmer received from a mother describing the life changing experience her son had because he had a frenectomy. This is a true, but a very frightening story, because it illustrates what little healthcare providers know about frenulums/frenums.

January 24, 2008
Dear Dr. Palmer,

I wanted to thank you and tell you my son's story. My son was born in Feb. 2001, and by 22 months was only saying one word: go.

It was clear to my husband and I that he was very intelligent, but we worried. His doctor recommended that we have him evaluated by Early Intervention. When the speech evaluator visited, I brought up the subject of Connor's tongue. I had noticed that, when he stuck his tongue out, it never really extended out of his mouth, and I wanted to know if that could be causing the speech problem. She said that it would have no effect. I was a bit confused by that, but deferred to her "expertise."

He was assigned a speech therapist who came twice a week. After three months with no progress, she said to me "Have you thought about getting his tongue checked by an ENT doctor?" I was furious that she had waited three months to mention it, and mad that the evaluator had dismissed my concerns.

At this point, he was 26 months old. I took him to an ENT doctor to be checked. She told me that, yes, he had a tight frenum, but that there was "no established literature" about the effect on speech, and that it would have no effect. She suggested that I might want to get it fixed before his teen years "so that he would be able to kiss properly," and even suggested that I have it done by a dentist in the dentist's office! It was clear to me that she wanted no part of giving me a diagnosis of any kind or providing any treatment to my son.

I immediately started talking to everyone that might know something about it, and searching the internet. My Early Intervention coordinator gave me a phone number of a couple who had been told to wait a year to perform the operation, and regretted it. I also found and downloaded your frenum document (2003).

Between those two inputs, I was given the courage to stand up to the doctor. I went into her office and said "I want this surgery done, and I want you to do it as soon as possible." She did not argue, and scheduled the surgery for the following month. It was performed without a hitch. For six weeks, he didn't utter a single sound. He was constantly moving his tongue and mouth around with a fascinated look on his face - exploring his new possibilities.

Meanwhile, my son was up to his neck in therapy of all kinds. His new speech therapist was telling me that my son was severely autistic and would never function in a normal classroom. The therapist advised me to take him to a neurologist. Fearing that I would be accused of negligence if I didn't, I took him to the neurologist. The appointment occurred during my son's six weeks of silence following the operation. The neurologist immediately discounted the speech therapist's opinion because "it's clear to me after two minutes with him that he understands every word I'm saying." He was very alarmed at my son's lack of speech. When I explained everything about the tongue and the recent surgery, the neurologist said "That's irrelevant." He wanted to hospitalize my son overnight for heavy testing. I refused, and he was not happy about it.

In the meantime, after the six-week silence, my son started using every word in the book. He's now turning seven, and you can't keep him quiet for five seconds. I have received comments from teachers that his vocabulary and diction are excellent. It took us two more years to completely escape the well-meaning machine of special education, thankfully just before he started kindergarten. He is currently ahead by two years in reading and math skills, has many friends and is a joy to us.

I cry whenever I tell this story, from great relief. If I had not seen your presentation, talked to the right people and stood up to all the various doctors and therapists, I am terrified to think what might have happened to my son, and what might be happening to countless other kids. Please continue to do whatever you can to spread the word about these issues. If you reach even one other parent like me, it's worth it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I can never thank you enough.

MR
Sleepy Hollow, NY

Sisters, Doing It For Themselves

This post is about celebrating female empowerment, and looking at how by putting power in the hands of young, low income, working class women, you can change the world - one baby at a time.
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Little Angels is a tiny breastfeeding support group, in Lancashire, England, that has a long and powerful reach. It's a classic story of how young women have connected to other young women, and used every scrap of resource available to them, to create the world in their own image.
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From volunteer status, with no money and only community support, they've carved out funding, set up a business partnership, and now lead the way in one-to-one breastfeeding support for every mother who walks out of the local maternity unit. All done for the love of their breastfeeding babies, and a sense of female power and control of the world around them.

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This sense of empowerment and control can be seen in their excellent new breastfeeding awareness campaign - Be A Star:
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These are images of young women aspiring to be themselves: stylish, in charge of their own bodies and their destiny, and taking control. They just happen to also have a breastfeeding baby in their lives too! The mothers range in age from 17 to 23.
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Some might decry the fashion pitch and high production values: surely fashion, make up, glamour, aspiring to be beautiful, are not feminist virtues? Of course they are! It's doing it on your terms that's the issue, not what you do.
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Fashion, beauty and glamour are important parts of many women's world view: part and parcel of how they express themselves in the world. You just need to look at women in war zones, and how they fight for the last smidge of lipstick, or look to gravy browning to pretend they have tights on, to see that access to 'dressing up stuff' can be a vital part of self expression. Play and fantasy are important for adults and children alike.

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There is a huge dichotomy here for sure, for one woman's liberated new lipstick shade, is another woman's symbol of "Oh my god I'm never going to look that good and I need a new diet and I hate myself"!
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This is always going to be a problem: how to present strong and confident women without making others feel inadequate! How to present style and fashion to women, without enslaving them in images of how they should be. How to allow young mothers to express themselves as true to their own identity, whilst at the same time being mothers!

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I'd argue these photos do a damned good job of balancing all these contradictions, and doing something very much more powerful to boot: dispelling one of our most powerful myths about mothering, formula feeding and breastfeeding.

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How they do this, is quite complex, so I think it's worth breaking down some components here.

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As I signalled in an earlier post, the Male Gaze is problematic for mothers of breastfeeding babies: they use their body in a way that's culturally challenging: they feed their hungry babies in daylight, not hidden in the shadows. One element I've always felt caused more reaction than not, was that mothers in photos with their breastfeeding babies, always tend to look to the baby, excluding the onlooker. None of these sparky mothers are looking at the baby! Some are looking directly at you, is a powerful and obvious challenge. This is totally not the scenario of weakness and 'being looked at' in most glamour and fashion photography (and soft core pornography).

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In a truly wonderful twist of how such things are often presented, it's the fact that these women are holding breastfeeding babies in their arms, that helps construct how these photos have been taken in their own terms - without sexual exploitation of their bodies. For with a breastfeeding baby in your arms, the 'cheap and easy' sexual shot has been completely removed. There are no high zooms on cleavage and breasts here! No seductive glisten on the skin as breasts are pushed, pulled, shaped and prominently displayed as a sign of 'sexiness' and availability. These breasts are 'out of the picture' and that allows us to view the woman, not just assess her body for overall sexual worthiness via her breast shape! Irony, ya' gotta love it! :-)

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Some of these mothers are staring you straight in the eye, and that's a position of power. So much so, that some might actually feel uncomfortable with the 'eye balling'. That they stare at you, is part of their rebellion. Young female rebellion, refusing to be stereotyped about what it means to be a mother of breastfeeding babies. They are defying your expectations of what you'd see in a poster for a breastfeeding awareness campaign, and defying you to make judgements upon them. This, and other elements of the photos, are only really noticeable when you see the pictures as a set. Take one in isolation, and the rebellion is not so prominent, see them all together on one page, and you can see the theme.

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For instance, the mothers looking away, are not posing themselves for you to look at them, pretending you've caught them unawares. They're enacting their own eyeline shots, to suit their mood. From looking at someone off-photo, to looking out to the far reaches of their own imaginations, thinking about how good they look in this pose! Part of this sense of not caring what you think, even when they are not looking at you, is constructed by the very definite nature of the shots as glam and proud of it. These are staged photographs, and the mothers have worked hard to stage themselves as they want to be seen. You are being offered a privileged glimpse of how they look to themselves in their heads - no stolen glances here. They are making statements up front - here, this is who I am. Take it or leave it.

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And this, I feel, is the crux of why these posters are so powerful - they represent the inner and true voice of the mothers being photographed. Again, looked at as a set, they all show very different things: different clothing styles, different body shapes, different takes on being photographed. The link isn't even one of high glamour, for the shot of the bowler hatted striped tights mothers is not 'glamour', it's more pop and rock. They are, however, statements of aspiration on being young and famous and special. We may decry the current cultural desire to assign special status via celebrity, but it is a factor in our lives, and it's wonderful to see the need that people often have - the need to be seen to be a 'star' expressed in such a powerful, and affirmative way. You may never be Posh, but you can buy the specs and give the look. And having a breastfeeding baby doesn't get in the way of that look!

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This will, in its own way, alienate some breastfeeding supporters! If we've learned anything in breastfeeding support in the past few years, its that many mothers who breastfed themselves, do think the role of the mother is to concentrate on the baby to all else in the mother's life, to sit in the bedroom and breastfeed hidden from view, and to not 'rock the boat'. I imagine these images are going to provoke some negative comments from that quarter! Chin up ladies, if you're not upsetting someone, you're dead! :-)

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I did say there was a dichotomy here, in that dressing the female form in such away can be problematic. I think it's clear that this 'dressing up' has been done by the mothers, for the mothers, and that makes a huge difference. Also, it's clear that doing this sort of dressing up is important to them. And that's vital. To suggest that fashion, style and make up can not be an important part of human expression is to deny who we are. But how then, to talk to the young mother who may look at these images and go "Cripes, I even fail at that!"

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The ones who didn't have access to a professional photo shoot, and who are drowning in feeling they are still not 'on top' of this baby stuff?

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'Well, the first thing I'd ask is... is make up and fashion important to you? For if it is, then I suggest you make sure you have time for it. One woman's hot soak in the tub with a good book, is another woman's playing with eye shadow, and another woman's long walk by the canal. Feminism is about finding your own voice in the plethora of voices being thrust upon you. Some of us like make up. Some of us don't. Some of us like jam tarts. Some of us don't! It's not about what you should look like, it's about how you want to look for yourself.

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If putting on your make up, and doing your hair, makes you feel good - find time to do it. If it's not important, don't feel 'bad' because someone else who does like it, sets aside the time to do it! Applaud them, and carry on doing what you need to do to make you feel special. If these pictures gave you a sudden jolt of feeling bad 'cos you don't look that good in the morning... do look more carefully at them! Only one of these mothers is skinny enough to be a real model, and she will no doubt have spent her life being told she is too skinny and scrawny to ever be sexy! It will have been a shock to her to discover she was model material. Just like it might be a shock to you, if you overheard others talk about how good looking you are...

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Do what these mothers have done - decide who you are and go for it, and offer no apology for that fact! Stare the world straight back in the eye! Find your own voice, and revel in it! And make that most threatening of statements... and my baby comes too!

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On that, I said these images dispel one of the most powerful myths about formula feeding. And that myth is that in order to be this well turned out, you have to formula feed. For no mother will 'find the time' or have the resources for clean, well tailored clothes and fashion. Absolute rot, and these photos prove it. Young Mums who truly have a voice in themselves that relishes fashion, make up, playing with people's expectations through clothing... can have just as much fun post baby as prior. And that's an important message for all mothers, not just young ones! Money is the key issue in looking good after pregnancy, for few of us can afford new clothes on a whim. Again, this is part of why this is such as strong and powerful message to a young low income audience in a socially deprived area.

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The notion that formula feeding enables you to 'be yourself' as it allows you to separate from your baby and allow you 'you time' whilst someone else cares for the baby, is truly invidious and against the best interests of both baby and mother. Quite simply, mothering is not a natural opposition to being young and street smart. Street smart is a state of mind, as much as a sense of style, and these mothers are showing that very clearly!

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And not a droopy saggy milkstained t-shirt in sight! :-) So well done Little Angels, for allowing your own voice, to shape such a powerful promotion for your peers.

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And the peer element is vital. We can only speak of who we are, to those willing to hear us. I can applaud these images whilst reflecting that if they were speaking to me, they'd show a woman on a computer, whose child fits into that world. Maybe these images will be a footstep in showing real diversity in the lives of mothers with breastfeeding babies. Heaven knows, we need it! More! Encore! Brava!

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As a final note, as the mother of a male child, I'd like to turn this pseudo-feminist argument that women shouldn't wear make up and play make believe with their clothing as they 'dress up', on the head. For, to me, the issue isn't whether or not women should have a choice about whether or not they play 'dressing up... it's why the men in our lives don't have that choice. Why are men seen as so strong and dominant, that for them to share in the game, reduces their masculinity? Huh? Every tried to find a male butterfly or fairy costume? And if there are no Daddy butterflies, where do all the baby butterflies come from?

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These posters are for sale for breastfeeding awareness campaigns, and there is a video to follow. Contact Little Angels at the above link, and watch this space!