Were You Breastfeeding on May 12th?

If you were, and you were in Britain, you might like to take part in the May 12th Mass Observation diary.

Mass Observation has been running in Britain for decades, and records daily life and activities for posterity.  Everyday people record what they are doing, doing everyday things.  The records are then open to historians and researchers, and can be used to gain an insight about what was going on with the 'masses' at any given time.

Yesterday was a Mass Observation day, for recording a journal entry from you, about your every day life.  E-mail only, and it goes into a database to be used in the future.

Why should it be important that you were breastfeeding yesterday?

I'm glad you asked.  It's important, as you were doing an everyday thing.  It's also important if you were doing other everyday things, like baby wearing, bed sharing and cuddling your baby if it was distressed.  And it's important because... well, imagine it's the year 2111.  Researchers are trying to gain an idea about parenting techniques in Britain one hundred years ago.  So they look at old television programmes, adverts, newspaper article and movies from 2011, to see how it was done then.

And what do they find?

They find Gina Ford, Jo Frost and advice on how to Cry It Out.  They find that mothers adored the new follow-on milk, and it was advertised heavily.  They read that mothers were told how to train and control their children and how to ignore their baby tyrants from day one.

That's the impression you'd get from us, from the major media sources around us today.  Is that how you parent?

Let's make sure the future knows how we are parenting, today.  Write a journal for yesterday, and post it to Mass Observation.  Email only.

Speak now, on how you do things, and let history record it.  Mamas in the future may need the support!  :-)

A Personal Indulgence

People, I have a wonderful joke to share with you, and to ask you to take part in.

Forgive me bringing a totally personal post to this space, but you'll see why, oh you'll laugh!  :)

I published a fiction novel on Sunday past.  I have been talking about it in my Facebook space, and a lot of you on this subscribe list, will know of it.  Some of you will not.  I keep the two blogs, and identities, separate.

Or that was the plan!

Completely spontaneously, a fellow writer just declared war on me, about milking cows!  Now, this is so sweet.  It's sweet for a couple of reasons.  One, I think it's very clever of Alan to whip up some publicity for an interview I'm giving on his blog tomorrow, by doing this.  He didn't warn me, didn't bring me in on the plan, he just launched off the cliff.  Which I take as a huge compliment.  And I've responded in kind.

However.

Oh Great Milk Of Lake, however... he has NO IDEA!  He genuinely does not have a clue,why I picked up on the fact in a review of his novel, that he'd made a substantial error, by not having his milking cows milked.  He'd had them left in a field, un-milked, for a couple of days, and didn't mention the cows again.

Now, obviously, that's a mistake a lot of men would make!  And that I picked up on it, when I reviewed the book, he was genuinely grateful about.  But I think it's so sweet he's called war on me, as a joke, and HE DOESN'T KNOW a thing about my lactation profile.

I can hear you smiling.

So pretty please peeps, let's have some fun with this.  Please bombard Alan's blog comments, about how he's such a fool to call me out about milking!  About how he really shouldn't have picked on me, to have a fight about lactation.  Pretty please?

It's just a bit of fun.  It is all in good humour, and it will all fade and die in the next day or so.  It's just a cute little publicity stunt, and I'd like to do this for him.  Let's try for a good 20 to 30 comments, about how he shouldn't have picked on this Mama, to argue about milk.  Please?

And keep it nice and light.  This is all in good humour, and I only want to make him smile.  If you are on Twitter, you can tweet him on @AlanRyker and you can comment on his blog post here.

I'm @DreyfussTrilogy, and my responding blog post is here.

Come on, have some fun.  I promise I'll not do this again.  :-)

Breastfeeding Picnics 2011 - June 18th & 19th

Freedom, Fairness and .... Equality

As we announced last year, we're changing the time of the Breastfeeding Picnics, from a weekday to the weekend.  We had run them, concentrating on Westminster, during the last week of Parliament before the Summer Recess.  This was to allow members of both the Commons, and the Lords, to attend.

However, we found that most MPs reported they'd be more likely to make a local picnic, in their area, over the weekend.  And that many Mums felt they couldn't attend mid-week.

So we moved the dates.  :-)

This year's Picnics will run over the Weekend on June 18th and 19th.  It is up to the local organiser, if they go for the Saturday or the Sunday.  Most will run for 3 or 4 hours, with a very fluid drop by between x and y, times.

Breastfeeding picnics, are just that: a picnic, usually in the park.  You choose a spot, tell everyone to turn up, and go have fun in the sun.  You also invite your local MP, and tell the local media.  The point of the picnic is to raise awareness of the need for proper protection in England & Wales, for breastfeeding (and bottle feeding) babies.  Scotland has excellent protection, and we want that protection extended to the whole of the UK.  Despite comments that England & Wales, Northern Ireland, The Isle of Man etc, cannot possibly bring in legal protection as civilisation as we know it will end... Scotland doesn't seem to have experienced any problems at all.  Everyone know babies and infant get fed, when they are hungry: end of.  Any baby, any milk, any caregiver.  Simples.

So, keep out for a list here, on the picnics running in June, and ask yourself if you want to run one.  Running one couldn't be easier.  Just decide the place, and let us know.  We'll send you a couple of information sheets, giving tips on what to do.

All you really have to do, is join Yahoo, so you can join in the Yahoo group.  It's very low maintenance, with just some discussion around setting up one a year.  You can also download the So You Want To Hold A Breastfeeding Picnic and tip sheet, from there.  It's moderated, so just give your name and where you want to hold one, and you'll be let in: http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/Breastfeeding_Picnic/

You can also join the Facebook Page, and hold your own 'even't page from there:  http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=18703668386   but the help to set up comes from the yahoo space.

It doesn't matter how big, or small, a Breastfeeding Picnic is.  All that matter if that Mums and Kids get together in the sun,and have fun, and raise the awareness that breastfeeding is a perfectly normal OUTDOOR activity.  We'd especially like some more in Scotland, as it is about everyone having the same rights.

So you there!  :-)

Irresistible

I'm sorry, all I can say, is that I couldn't stop myself.

Eco nursing pillow

Versus....

You know, it was bad enough when we were being told we had to bring a shower curtain out with us...

Now we have to bring the bed too?

So discreet, who would notice you?

*facepalm*

If You Have Been Affected By Eastenders...

Da..da..da.da..da. DA...DAAAAAAAHHHH..


"If you have been affected by anything in tonight's Eastenders, please phone....."

"Hello, how can I help...."
*sobbing*
"We do understand tonight's episode has upset a great many people.  How can we help, caller?"
*more sobbing*
"Please take your time.  We're here to listen.  I have a list of advice lines, and I can pass you on when I know what aspect you most need help with.  I'll just sit and listen for a moment, okay?"
*broken cries calm down*  "Thank you for being there, I just didn't know where to start.  I'm not sure what's upset me most.  Is it okay if I just babble for a bit?"
"Certainly caller.  There were many issues raised tonight, and my job is to find you the right support.  In your own time."
"Okay, thank you.  I'll just think a bit, about the bit that got me most upset.  Do you have a helpline for people who've had bad breastfeeding experiences?"
"You found that part, when she wasn't able to breastfeed Tommy, distressing?"
"Oh yes, yes.  The same thing happened to me, and I wasn't able to feed my baby, and I saw Ronnie tonight, and I thought... I thought, if only someone would tell her, what no one ever told me!"
"And what was that caller?"
"That you need to take your bra and dress off first.  If only I'd known!"  *sobs*
"I quite understand caller.  Did you feel bullied by those who did breastfeed, I have a line here to a wonderful helpline paid for by an international baby food company, who understand the issues you were going through...?"
"No, no, I'm fine now, Jack was so helpful, going straight out and buying the formula, that calmed me down.... *begins wailing once more...*"
"In your own time, caller."
"Okay, I was wondering if you had a helpline about eating disorders?"
"We do... although...."
"... because clearly, with both babies being anorexic..."
"Pardon..?"
"Well, you know, with both babies not needing food.  Just lying there, silent, and awake, for hours and hours and hours on end, and not once crying for food.  It was just so obvious that they had an unnaturally suppressed appetite.  It doesn't make sense otherwise.  I mean no one even checked a nappy!"
"ehmmm....."
"Although, of course, that wasn't the most obvious trauma, as a viewer.  Programmes just don't take their responsibility to the viewers, and their real lives, seriously... *sob*"
"That's why we are here... do you..."
"Do you have a helpline number for early signs of dementia?"
"Uhm, yes, ..."
"Oh good, that got me really upset, Roxy's memory loss."
"I'm sorry...?"
"When she was told that baby Tommy had died, and she completely forget the 5 minutes it took to get past Ronnie, as she was sure Ronnie was telling her baby James was dead, and then she stood there crying, and couldn't bear the pain.  To forget that overnight... will her storyline develop about her early onset memory loss do you know..?"

"Ehm,.. no, sorry, we don't have those details."
"Pity.  *cries again*  This is really helping you know, talking it out.  do you have a helpline for those unable to process sizes?"
"I'm sorry, I don't understand..?"
"You know, market stall holders who sell one size baby grow for a preemie, and an 8lb whopper term, and they both fit and no one can see the difference..?"
"Ehmm,, no.... "
"Pity.  I suppose that's just a silly one though.... *hysterical tears*"
"There are no silly ones, caller, all our feelings are valid...."
"That's so nice for you to say.  I feel better now.  I think I can actually talk about the really upsetting bits now."
"I'm listening...."
"For instance... do you have a helpline for Lochia Anonymous?"
"Pardon...?"
"Oh, I know it's silly, but I look at those two wonderful women, Kat & Ronnie, and I feel ashamed about my own experience.  I mean there they are, in the same clothes, for over 14 hours, and they've slept in them, or run through the streets of London with a hospital gown on.. and they've not had to change their bleeding pads once."
"I'm sorry caller, we ask you not to swear, or use abusive language on calls."
"Sorry..?"
"Please don't talk about *bleep* pads.  Did you mean iPads?"
"No, I was talking about how ashamed I was, that I leaked after childbirth.  It's obviously not normal."
"Do you want a childbirth support line...?"
"No.  I'd rather just talk it through a bit longer, if that's all right with you?"
"You're in charge of the call, caller."

"Oh good.  I was wondering 'tho... "
"Yes, caller...?"
"Do you have a helpline for those with sight impairment..?"
"Yes, but, again, I'm not sure..."
"Nothing, I suppose I'm being silly again.  Maybe I need to step back from the events and look at it as TV?"
"If you think that will help you..."
"Well, it does.  Do you have any helplines about TV?
"About TV...?"
"Yes, you know, maybe a Todorov Syndrome one?"
"I'm sorry caller...? "
"Well, Narrative Structure Failure then? You know, beginnings, middles, ends, not knowing what way they should go, not knowing when to actually move onto the next scene and stop looking at the same character for too long. Emotional Pornography and Soaps Helpline..?  Have you got one of those?"
*frantic key pressing* "Ehm, sorry caller, not quite sure ... just give me a moment...."
"Or maybe something to do with Cause & Effect? Logic and rational thought abuse?"
*ping* "Ah, we do have something here... the Spock's Smile Society.. they help you deal with plot twists that break inner logic for a cheap shot ending, would that help?"
"Maybe.... "
*clicking of keys"  "Mmm... not sure that's your best bet actually, another file is opening up.. never found this part of the system before... We do have a few on Delayed Ejaculation... how long can you overshoot the shot...?"
"That sounds like we're in the right area.... "
*excited*"Caller, I think I know which helpline you need!"
"Really?  Oh Good, which one?"
"We have one named Support For Pig Shit Ignorant BBC Programme Makers.  It's internal, so I can put you through directly."
"Oh, that sounds the right one, please put me through."
"Certainly.  Good Luck, I hope we've helped this evening. Transferring now."

"Welcome to the BBC Support for Pig Shit Ignorance Helpline.  Please listen carefully to the following options.
If you are a middle class professional, who wishes to write drama about subjects you have no research in, and no interest in, please press No 1, and leave your contact details.  We will contact you shortly.
If you are a female middle class professional, willing to defend in print, all BBC storylines about how hard it is to be a career women and be taken seriously as a mother, and I formula fed, CIOd, naughty stepped and left my baby with a Nanny 18 hours a day...  and all my children are just fine and we have a wonderful relationship when they come back from boarding school... press 2 and leave your husband's contact details.  We will check with him if the 90 hour a week workload we'll expect of you, is fine with him.  Unless you are divorced, in which case hang up.
If you are not middle class, and you are phoning to complain about a factual accuracy contained in any BBC programme, please press 3 and leave your contact details.  We will get an adult literacy scheme to contact you, and they can teach you to read and write.  Then you can understand our programmes betterer.
If you are a person who has experienced, directly, a situation portrayed in a BBC programme, and wish to complain about our accuracy or ridiculous attempts to shoe horn plot into any shape we desire... please hang up and eff off.  We don't make programmes just for you.  Try to think of the rest of the nation.  You are not qualified to understand Good Drama, dickhead.
Thank you for calling the BBC.  A thought before you go: have you paid your licence fee?"

all images copyright the BBC 2011 and are used for satirical purposes only

Silk Purse from a Sow's Ear

Well, who'd'v'thunk it?  Something useful has come from the Equalities Act debacle!

For newer readers, we have been campaigning for years, to get at least equivalent protection for breastfeeding in public spaces in England & Wales, and Northern Ireland, as exist in very fortunate Scotland.

The last Labour Government put together a huge Equalities Act, with lots of decent legislation.  But the breastfeeding protection was a joke - nothing at all in public spaces, and mothers had to sue privately if it was goods and services.  Loads of confusion about ages and pathways to sue.

HOWEVER.

And it's such a nice however...  UK Gov has published this handy dandy gorgeous little leaflet.  It's a business handy guide to the Equalities Act.  As such, it is very condensed, and contains bullet points, not long detail.

So it contains, on page 4, this LOVELY detail:

Breastfeeding mothers

The Act has specifically clarified that it is unlawful to discriminate against a woman because she is breastfeeding.

Ensure that women to whom you are providing goods, facilities and services are able to breastfeed should they so wish.

Example

Saul, a bus driver, tells Kate, who is breastfeeding on the bus, that if she does not either stop or get off the bus she could be arrested for indecency.  This is not only inaccurate, but is unlawful direct discrimination, and the company will be liable under the Equality Act 2010 unless it can show that it has taken all reasonable steps to stop the driver from acting in this way. Saul will be liable whether or not his employer is.

So there you go mothers.  Go to the website, print off this nice little leaflet, and fold it into your bag, pocket or changing stuff.  Print off several,  Highlight the correct bit.  Hand them out!

Yes, it is missing essential detail.  But it does so in a way that is so very very very useful.  For scaring the arrogance out of people in shops and cafes!

Crown copyright leaflet, July 2010   JN40172  What an amazing little resource you are!  :-)

PDF: Here

Damoclean Dilemmas

The Sword of Damocles, by ikaa

I've been asked to repost here, in an open forum, two comments I made about the informed milk sharing, in the past 24 hours.  You can see by the context, I'm discussing attitudes to milk sharing, and the female body.  You can also tell by the picture, and the title, my thoughts on the position we put mothers into, when discussing this.  :-)  The comments stand alone, but I'll ask permission for the post I'm responding to on number one, to be published here - when the poster wakes up on the other side of the planet!

EDIT: permission given.  And can I just thank Karleen Gribble and award her the Nobel No Prize, for "peer to peer milk sharing" and the apt and accurate comparison between bed, and milk, sharing.  Go Karleen!

-o0o-

So my prophecy came to pass

A milk banking person saying how dirty and dangerous informal milk sharing is.... sigh... Jack Newman is quoted with similar sentiments in the same article. Very unhelpful and fits right in with the pervasive viewpoint that breastfeeding and breastmilk is icky, dangerous stuff that should be kept hidden- part of the reason why breastfeeding in public is so unacceptable and why working mums get such  grief about their expressed breastmilk from their colleagues and from the carers  of their infants. Shame! Shame!

Karleen Gribble
Australia

http://www.thestar.com/living/article/898077--breast-milk-banks-latch-on-to-social-media

However, the society does not endorse informal milk sharing. "I think it's dangerous," says Dr. Sharon Unger, a neonatologist at Mount Sinai Hospital. "I completely understand why women do it, but you really don't know what you're getting . . . it's very unsafe."

Unger is spearheading an initiative to set up a Toronto milk bank, but says it's still a few years away - pending more research and funding - and will initially make sick babies its priority

-o0o-

Just to add my tuppence worth here to Karleen's prescience, and with respect to Diane, ask people to Watch Their Language.


Those of us in the lactation community who disagree with mothers taking control of their own milk supply, are using very specific language..


The Risks of Informal Milk Sharing.. casual milk sharing... unprocessed milk sharing... all of which are misnomers.


What is being discussed by the mothers taking control, is the difference between Informed, and Uninformed, Milk Sharing.


"Informal" milk sharing is being used to suggest no discipline, methodology or information about milk sharing.  It conjures up the Hoary Old Spectre of the slack alice mother, going on ebay to buy a shed load of human milk, from the woman keeping her breast pump in the dog basket.  The crack whore is also selling her milk, when discussing "Informal Milk Sharing."  said crack whore has just come from her HIV treatment centre (which is [not] a problem actually, as she'll be on ARVs, but let's not muddy the analogy with science!)  That woman down the end of the street with a fur coat and no knickers is involved in informal milk sharing, and she's giving it to the daft woman at No 6, who buys stuff from Internet channels as well.


However, when discussing Informed Milk Sharing, mothers are engaged in a discourse with each other, and the science and research, on which is the greater risk to their baby - donated human milk, or formula.  They are discussing screening options, and processing options.  They are scrutinising blood readouts and health check information.  They are deciding how to mitigate risks, so they are less than those of feeding formula.
The removal of this aspect of the discussion, on various forums and posts, is very troubling to me.  The various milk sharing sites make information known to all women, of the spectra of risks that can exist in milk sharing.  And most provide resources on how to mediate, or mitigate, them.


To deny that element to the discussions, is to do a great disservice to everyone.


So please, can we stop with the 'Informal Milk Sharing' and be specific.  You may as well just go straight to Icky Milk Sharing.


You may disagree with mothers making informed decisions on milk.  You may think it's a terrible idea.  You may genuinely believe that no mother can mitigate the risks.  But to present the concept as having no discussion at all of the risks, is disingenuous at best, and dishonest at worst.


Mothers can undertake discussions about risk: let's not rob them of that, no matter how we feel about Informed versus Uninformed, milk sharing.


Informed Milk Sharing is the activity under discussion.

-o0o-

The discussion about "peer-to-peer" milk sharing

Do you like that terminology better Morgan??

I think that the discussion about peer to peer milk sharing has much in common with discussion of bedsharing with infants- in that it's something that one cannot outright recommend because it depends on the situation. I've given many interviews over the years to journalists about bedsharing and many have wanted me to say that it's safe and parents should do it. I won't.

Why?? Because we know that there are situations in which bed sharing is not safe. What I do do is state that there are good reasons why mothers share sleep surfaces with their infants, that they should be given information about how to manage the risks of bed sharing and then that it is up to parents to look at their individual circumstances and make their decision about where their baby sleeps and what that environment looks like. It's much the same with milk sharing. Mothers have good reasons why they might want to use donor human milk from a peer. They should be given information about how to manage the risks of sharing milk and then it's up to them to decide what to do. No professional needs to endorse milk sharing, nor do they need to condemn it. It is entirely possible for professionals asked to provide comment to recognised why women might want to obtain human milk via peers (banked donor milk unavailable, infant formula deficient), how they might manage the risks associated with peer to peer milk sharing (recognising that the risks are manageable) and that it's up to parents to decide what to do.

Karleen Gribble

Australia 

No one is minimising risks, or invalidating actual risks.


But the construction that women are inherently diseased, and must be tested and tested and tested, to maintain their purity, is one we cannot allow to stand.


That we live in a society where women are healthier, better fed, more intelligent and have more power to make informed decisions, than has ever occurred on the planet before... that is what needs to be the opening statement.   In that context, other women are a resource to help keep our babies alive.. a resource that has to be looked at where the majority of women are perfectly acceptable donors, with some work done to ensure risk has been minimised... is the one we should be aiming for.


That wonderful Chinese police officer, who breastfed, and kept alive safely, 5 babies, in an emergency, would, in terms of this discussion, being told to let them die, rather than infect them with whatever she couldn't prove she didn't have?  She was breastfeeding her own baby, so what?  She's AUTOMATICALLY too dangerous to feed another without a battery of testing? 


The irony here, is that we're asking for a level of purity that is nigh on impossible, from the cleanest, safest, healthiest nations on earth.


And this notion that we must assume disease, rather than work with each individual circumstance, is going to do so much harm, and harm so many babies, if we let this myth be constructed around us.


The vast majority of mothers in the countries considering milk sharing (which requires a huge amount of hygiene and money rich resources) have all been tested during their own pregnancy, just prior to their lactation.  Certainly, in the USA, where litigation is a more everyday fact of life, then more caution would have to be used.  but that's about context.


The spectrum of mothers available for donation, starts with the VAST majority being perfectly safe to donate, and all of whom, just about, have the blood work to prove it.  Only when you get into tiny percentages of overall population, do you run into the TINY percentage of the population, that should not donate.


Whilst we continue to discuss the entire spectrum as only the TINY minority, babies will be harmed.


Already, in the USA, double the newborns on formula, die as on breastmilk.  Seeing every mother who may give life giving milk to a baby without enough, as Typhoid Mary, is simply obscene.  And ignores the science, and the general population's actual behaviour and health.


Again, that heart warming story of the baby being breastfed by 5 young mothers, on a rota, as the baby's mother died in childbirth... gone.  That baby is now on formula. 


The double standard here is that you are asking more of a woman, than you are of a cow.  Even when we know the cow's milk has potentially lethal contamination in up to 14% of the product.  Yes, there is merit in the cross-species argument, versus same species, but that's part of the balance of risks for that individual baby - not a huge banner statement that infection and disease is running rife through our mothers and babies.


And we know that far LESS than 14% of the lactating population, is a risk.  And that's before we get to the fact that most women are looking at both screening, and home flash heating with donated milk.


I can see a doctor's office, in the not to distant future, where a Dr is telling a mother not to breastfeed her own baby, until she can prove her milk is safe. 


And the seeds of that horrible vision, are being sown in here, right now.


I grew up in a world where doctors and scientists had told mothers not to breastfeed, as their milk was not good enough.  I cannot comprehend that returning via well meaning intentions on fear based philosophies.  And you will see it rise, I can assure you, in the wake of these discussions on the automatic dangers of diseased women, and their polluting bodily fluids, that must be sanctified as 'safe'... by science and technology.


The risks are relatively small, the base population immensely healthy.  The way to mitigate the risks, quite easy and manageable.  The decision, the mother's.  She should be supported in her decision, in either direction.  That's the baseline.


I've stood by women who are HIV positive, who were being told needlessly, that their babies would be removed at birth, and they would never see them again, if they breastfed.  I've listened to their anger, and their fury, and their fear.  I've heard them cry. I've had to inform them of the dangers of the drugs they were being forced to take, to dry their milk.  When there is no reason for this AT ALL.  


Stand by the women I've stood by, and listen to their pain.  You may find yourself reflecting on how healthy our society is, rather than how diseased it is.  And how 'choice' is a dangerous, and load bearing, responsibility, that neither assumes, nor negates, hope.

The Sword of Damocles, by Paul Hudson